by Dharma Bum
Copyright 2000
DOGS IN CLOVER "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" Show #7 TEASER FADE IN: INT. QUEEN'S HUT - MORNING XENA is sitting at the kitchen table, cradling EVE in the crook of one arm while she sips something out of a mug. From outside there is a SPLASH, and a YELL. Xena smiles. XENA (to Eve) Good girl. Eve LAUGHS. The front door come open and JOXER enters, carrying the morning scroll; he casts a worried glance out the door before closing it. JOXER Uh...the ambassador just fell into her hot tub. I guess she was sleepwalking or something. XENA Or something. Eve LAUGHS again. Joxer looks at them suspiciously. JOXER Cause like there's no other way she could have done it. Eve claps her hands. JOXER (CONT'D) (reproachfully) Oh, Xena. XENA Lysandra's asking for it. JOXER You shouldn't mess with her. She is the ambassador. XENA She's a pain in the butt. And you should be on my side. You can't even go out of the house without her getting all offended and shrieking about "violations of womyn's safe space" or some such rot. Joxer walks into the kitchen, stopping to hand Xena the scroll. JOXER It's only for a couple more days. Just until Gabrielle gets the peace accord signed with Lysandra's tribe. Xena looks at Eve and makes a face, causing the baby to chortle. XENA Awww. No more fun, Evie. JOXER You know, you ought to take this seriously. This is really important to Gabrielle. Xena gives him The Look. JOXER (CONT'D) I, I mean, you should...think about taking it seriously. (wilts quickly) Maybe. If you wanted to. Xena lets him squirm for another few seconds before letting him off the hook. XENA Lysandra is an idiot. You know it, I know it, and Gabrielle knows it. JOXER She's still an ambassador. We oughta at least respect her position. She has her dignity. The front door opens and LYSANDRA walks into the room. She is wearing an ankle-length pink nightshirt with very unAmazony ruffles at the collar and cuffs. She is sopping wet, and there are leaves clinging to her shirt and hair. LYSANDRA Xena. You did this. XENA Not me. I don't do pink. LYSANDRA You and your patriarchal-oppressor- male-god-spawned-devil-child there dumped me into my own hot tub. XENA Lysandra, you were sleepwalking again, go back to bed. LYSANDRA If I'd been in my bed instead of floating in mid-air three feet above the surface of the tub, it wouldn't matter, would it? JOXER Here, I'll get you a towel. He grabs the afghan off the back of the couch. Lysandra backs away from him in alarm. LYSANDRA Keep it away from me. It's trying to attack. XENA Joxer, no kill. JOXER Very funny. He puts the afghan back. Lysandra pulls leaves out of her hair. LYSANDRA Look at this. XENA Hmn. Looks like you have root rot. LYSANDRA I'm tired of your damn hedges dropping leaves all over my property. I want them trimmed. XENA I like the hedges the way they are. LYSANDRA I mean it, Xena. No more of your leaves on my lawn, or I'm going to the Council. XENA (to Eve) Ooooh, Evie. The COUNCIL. Lysandra pulls herself up straight, fuming, and looks for something to hit. LYSANDRA (indicating Joxer) And I want that out of here, too. She leaves. GABRIELLE comes downstairs. JOXER I'll trim the hedges. XENA Joxer, you're not to touch the hedges. Gabrielle walks across the room and studies the wet patch on the floor. She leans over and picks up a wet leaf. GABRIELLE I see Lysandra's been here already. XENA Yes...we had a nice discussion about gardening. GABRIELLE Two more days, Xena. Just two more days and the agreement will be signed. XENA And then the fun's over. Gabrielle flicks the wet leaf off her fingers in disgust. GABRIELLE Just once. Just once I'd like everything to work out right in the end. Have everyone get along. Have a peace accord go through. Have one little agreement reached without everyone involved have to hit each other with swords to do it. She walks back off towards the kitchen. Joxer watches her go. XENA (not looking around) Don't worry. Nobody will have to be decapitated for this one. She jiggles Eve so that Eve LAUGHS. XENA (CONT'D) Especially not my hedges. FADE OUT:
ACT ONE EXT. QUEEN'S HUT BACKYARD - DAY Facing the house, so that we can see the lattice-work door leading into the main room, the porch, and the neatly-trimmed hedge along one side of the property that serves as the dividing line between the Queen's Hut and Lysandra's house. Gabrielle, Xena, CYANE, and RHYSIS are sitting in chairs grouped around a table on the patio. Eve is playing with a ball on the grass nearby, close enough that Xena can keep an eye on her. There is an EWER on the table, and everyone has wine-cups. Gabrielle is filling Cyane's. GABRIELLE ...I really don't see the Council's objection. Why would they want to keep up this ridiculous feud anyway? CYANE Tradition. Oh, don't look at me like that -- I think it's ridiculous too. But I never could get them to see it. (takes cup) This is definitely going to be a feather in your headdress if you can get this agreement through. XENA If? I thought it was all settled. CYANE (darkly) You don't know the Council. (takes a rather large drink at the mention of its name) If for no other reason than getting them all to agree on something for a change, this'll be a cause for a celebration ritual. Xena's gaze goes to Eve, and then beyond her. She stiffens. XENA (looking intently at whatever it is that has caught her eye) How about if we burn Joxer at the stake? CYANE Works for me. GABRIELLE Hey. XENA Look. Look at the hedges. Everyone does, although no one sees quite sure of what it is they're supposed to see. RHYSIS They look nice enough. XENA That's not the point. Joxer! He comes out of the house. JOXER What? XENA The hedges. JOXER Oh...don't they look nice. He has made the mistake of coming too close to the table. Xena grabs him by one ear and pulls his head down. XENA Didn't I tell you not to trim the hedges? JOXER Ow! I didn't. XENA Then how did they get like that? JOXER I haven't gone out of the house because every time I go any further than the porch Lysandra's guards throw spears at me. I don't know anything about your old hedges. Xena glares at him for a minute, then lets him go. She gets up, picks up Eve, and walks over to the hedge. RHYSIS The Western tribe has been known to be overly paranoid like that. CYANE Yeah. (another large drink) RHYSIS That's a professional shaman opinion, of course. Lysandra walks up on the other side of the hedge. She is smirking. LYSANDRA Xena. XENA Lysandra. Xena glares. Lysandra looks smug. XENA (CONT'D) You know, odd thing, but my hedges seem much smaller all of a sudden. LYSANDRA That's because I trimmed them. GABRIELLE Does anyone remember why the tribes started feuding in the first place? CYANE (big drink) Nah. RHYSIS It was probably some trivial insult that got blown all out of proportion. Knowing these tribes. XENA You trimmed my hedges. LYSANDRA I decided not to get angry. After all, I would hardly expect a barbaric tribe that keeps men in their houses to know anything about civilized standards of yard-work. CYANE Excuse me? RHYSIS Oh, come on, Cyane, we're just as bad as they are, and you know it. CYANE I highly, highly doubt that. XENA You touched my hedges? LYSANDRA Don't be childish, Xena. XENA You touched my hedges. LYSANDRA That's right, and I'm going to touch them again. (touches hedge) There. Xena smiles one of those Xena-smiles that makes sane people run away. Lysandra doesn't. XENA Eve, Mummy hates what the nasty lady did to the hedges. Eve frowns for a minute, and suddenly the hedge growth springs back, even more ragged and abundant than it was before. Lysandra springs away. CYANE It's the Western tribe that's refused to listen to reason all these years. The Western tribe, and... the Council. (shudders) Gimme another drink. LYSANDRA That's just typical of this tribe. This sort of decadent, unAmazonian, patriarchal anti-nature behavior... XENA Patriarchal? What a good idea. (over shoulder) Joxer! Come here. JOXER (suspicious) No spears? XENA No spears. Joxer walks over to stand by Xena. Lysandra backs away from the hedge. XENA (CONT'D) Now be a good boy and stand right there. JOXER For how long? XENA Two days. LYSANDRA Guards! XENA You're going to be a kind of scare- idiot. JOXER Hey. GABRIELLE It seems to me the Council's just a little too tied up in appearances. They're afraid the other tribes will think they're not Amazony enough. You know, if they make peace they're compromising. CYANE Well, we have to take a firm stand on matters. The, I know you hate to hear it, tradition. GABRIELLE But this tribe has changed. We've learned to be a little more flexible, I think. CYANE Don't rub it in. XENA Be careful, Lysandra. You're standing too close there. You might get man- cooties. LYSANDRA You are not taking any of this seriously, are you? You have no respect for our tribe, and our beliefs, and our customs... XENA And your pink nightgowns, don't forget those. Eve LAUGHS. RHYSIS It's just all the more impressive, then, that you're the first Queen who's been able to even get the two tribes talking. LYSANDRA That's it. She pulls a dagger from her waist and flings it into the ground at Xena's feet. LYSANDRA (CONT'D) Not only will we never debase ourselves to your level, we shall not allow this foul excuse for a tribe to drag the reputation of the Amazon nation through the mud any longer. She turns and walks o.s. away from the hedge. Gabrielle, Rhysis, and Cyane are all looking now. CYANE And not only that, the first Queen who ever pushed them over the brink into open warfare. There is silence for a moment. JOXER Can I go inside now? INT. QUEEN'S HUT - LATER A considerable confusion and milling around. In addition to Gab, Xena, Cyane, and Rhysis, AMARICE and TONYA are in the room, along with several members of the tribal council. Joxer is sitting on a chair a little to the back of the room, remaining silent. He's the only one. Everyone else is talking in loud, excited voices. GABRIELLE Okay. Okay. Hold it! Everybody-- She gestures for silence. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Calm down! Please. The talking more or less stops. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Thank you. Now...let's just calm down and try to figure out where we stand. Has Lysandra sent the declaration to her tribe yet? AMARICE A messenger left her hut earlier. It only takes a couple of hours to get across the valley, if you ride hard. RHYSIS But they'll have to run it by their Cyane, and then their Council. CYANE Can't you do some shaman thing and find out what they're doing? You know (gestures vaguely) go into a trance or something? RHYSIS It doesn't work like that. XENA It'll take them some time to mobilize in any case. Everyone looks upset at this, and the talking starts again. XENA (CONT'D) (trying to talk over the voices) Which means we have some time to mount a defense. RHYSIS I can't believe it would come to that. I mean, there has to be somebody there with some common sense. CYANE With the Western tribe? Forget it. TONYA So...we're really going to war, then? Stricken, Gabrielle turns away at this and walks a few feet apart from the others. Joxer watches her. CYANE I suppose it was inevitable. TONYA But we were going to have peace. And we were so close. Gabrielle leans on a chair. Joxer watches her for another few seconds, then gets to his feet and leaves unnoticed through the porch door. RHYSIS (sighs) I suppose not. Gabrielle visibly collects herself and walks back to the group. GABRIELLE (slightly shaky voice) Yes. We'd better...start planning for a defense. Just in case. She takes one more breath to finish steadying herself. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Okay. Now then. Cyane, where do we stand as far as archers go... EXT. WESTERN VILLAGE GATE -- LATER The Western village, unlike the one we are familiar with, is fortified with a high wall around its perimeter, and a barred gate blocking access. Joxer, wearing his armor (which we haven't seen since episode 3, and we haven't missed it either) comes riding up to the gate on ARGO. He reins her to a halt and dismounts, wincing when he hits the ground. Argo WHICKERS. JOXER You did that on purpose, didn't you? Argo flicks her tail and doesn't answer. Joxer walks stiffly to the gate. He spends a few moments looking left and right, then knocks tentatively as if it were the door to a house. He waits a second and then, when there is no answer, knocks again, harder this time. GUARD (O.S.) (from atop the wall) Who goes there? JOXER I've come to talk to the Cyane. GUARD (O.S.) There are no men allowed in this village. Leave now or face the consequences. JOXER (aggravated) Oh, COME ON. (mutters to himself) Amazons... He pounds on the door again. JOXER (CONT'D) Let me in, darn it. GUARD (O.S.) Only Amazons are allowed in this village. JOXER I am an Amazon. GUARD (O.S.) You are not. JOXER I'm married to one. GUARD (O.S.) How many legs you got? JOXER Two. GUARD (O.S.) Get outta here!! JOXER Now LOOK. He steps back from the wall a couple of feet and shouts up in the general direction of the guard's voice. JOXER (CONT'D) I've come from the Eastern tribe. I want to talk to the Cyane. GUARD (O.S.) The Eastern tribe sent a man to speak for them? JOXER Look, I'm just trying to stop everyone from making a big mistake... He is still looking up at the top of the wall and doesn't notice that the gate has opened and a group of Amazons with swords and spears are headed straight for him. JOXER (CONT'D) ...nobody really wants a war, and the whole thing is just a big misunderstanding, and if I could just talk to the Cyane... At this point he realizes he has about half-a-dozen blades against his throat. JOXER (CONT'D) Um, I mean a friendly talk, of course. A very, very friendly and...non- aggressive talk, definitely non- aggressive, I... The Amazons hustle him into the village at swordpoint, and the gate swings shut behind them. Argo stands alone outside the wall. After a moment, she takes a mouthful of grass and stands, chewing thoughtfully. FADE OUT:
ACT TWO EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- EVENING It is that evening. INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON XENA She is sitting on the couch with Eve on her lap. Cyane and Rhysis are studying a map on the kitchen table, and Amarice is seated in a chair, sharpening her sword. Gabrielle paces back and forth behind the couch. XENA I suppose you think this is all my fault. No one appears to be listening. XENA (CONT'D) Can you believe how touchy Lysandra is? Gabrielle stops by the table and looks at the map. XENA (CONT'D) You'd think if a tribe wanted peace it would send an ambassador that could take a little joke or two. (pause) And that could keep her mitts off of other people's hedges. There is still no response from anyone. Xena sits back on the couch, looking disgruntled. Tonya enters through the front door with a scroll. TONYA Xena...message for you. She hands it to Xena. Xena unrolls the scroll and reads it. XENA Cleopatra? Last time I heard from her must have been...ten summers ago. Gabrielle, you met her a little while back, didn't you? GABRIELLE (distracted) Hmn?...Oh. Sorry, Xena. She walks back across the room. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Amarice, go out and check that the archers are in place around the perimeter, okay? AMARICE Sure. She leaves. Frowning, Gabrielle looks around the room, as if she's misplaced something. She stops, turns around, walks a couple of steps, then stops and looks again. GABRIELLE Something's missing. (frowns) Has anybody seen Joxer lately? Rhysis and Cyane look up. Xena looks to one side of the room and then the other. XENA He must be keeping out of the way. (somewhat surprised) For a change. TONYA I saw him down at the stable a few hours ago. Xena sits up straight on the couch and looks around at Gabrielle, who is staring back at her. GABRIELLE Oh...no. Tonya, what was he doing? TONYA Saddling Argo. I was wondering if he was going to run the message down to the Agricultural Collective and save me the trip, y'know? But I guess not. CYANE He's run out on us? XENA (slowly) Nothing so smart. GABRIELLE Xena, he wouldn't. RHYSIS Wouldn't want? XENA Have gone to the Western village? Yeah -- you bet he would. CYANE (standing up straight, very alarmed) He's going over to the other side? XENA No. He's probably trying to stop them from attacking. GABRIELLE And probably getting himself killed in the process. CYANE (calms down) Oh, all right then. GABRIELLE What?! CYANE That solves at least two problems right there. No more man in village, no more marriage. Rhysis pokes her and makes a face. CYANE (CONT'D) (to Rhysis) What? (to Xena and Gab) Shame to lose that horse of yours, though, Xena. She rolls up the map. CYANE (CONT'D) We'd better take this to the Council Hall. Are you coming, Gabrielle? GABRIELLE In a minute. CYANE Okay, then. She and Rhysis leave. Tonya fidgets nervously. XENA Oh...Tonya. She looks at the scroll Tonya has given her. XENA (CONT'D) Send a reply message to Cleopatra. Tell her...tell her I've got my own damn problems to worry about. Tonya nods, takes the scroll, and leaves. Neither Xena nor Gabrielle say anything for a minute. XENA (CONT'D) Well. This is all very...Joxer. GABRIELLE The Western tribe hates men. They'll... She can't finish the sentence. XENA I mean, it's typical Joxer, y'know? To go and do something stupid like... (pause) ...like harass an ambassador, even if she is asking for it. GABRIELLE (automatic) It wasn't your fault. XENA It might not have been...but I didn't help matters much. She takes a solemn-looking Eve into her arms. GABRIELLE (determinedly bright) Well...you know Joxer. He probably got lost or something before he even got there. (face falls) And then the bears would have gotten him. (very cheerful once more) But Argo can outrun bears. (face falls) But he can't ride. But... (cheerful) but... XENA You could send somebody after him. GABRIELLE No, I can't. That would definitely set the whole situation off. I can't put the whole tribe in jeopardy for one person, I... She stops talking abruptly and walks across the room into the kitchen, fidgeting with the RING on her finger. Xena watches her anxiously. Eve suddenly twists about, facing the door and talking fretful baby-talk, and after a moment the door opens. ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR Amarice is there, supporting Joxer, who is leaning heavily on her and limping badly. He has a scroll tucked under one arm. Amarice helps him into the room. Xena and Gabrielle turn around, and Xena stands up. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Joxer! XENA Joxer? She heads across the room to them. Gabrielle starts to do so as well, but after a couple of steps slows to a halt. Xena and Amarice prop Joxer up on his feet, and Eve reaches out and makes querulous demanding noises until Xena relents and gives her to him to hold. Gabrielle remains a few feet away from the group, tense and fingering her ring. XENA (CONT'D) Joxer, are you all right? JOXER Yeah. XENA (fussing; checking him for injuries) Do you want to sit down? JOXER (rather loudly) NO. Xena glares. JOXER (CONT'D) (rather not as loudly) No...that's all right. I'd, uh, rather not. (pause) Long ride. XENA (comprehending now) Ah. She settles for brushing invisible dirt off his shoulder. XENA (CONT'D) Eli's god, where have you been? We thought you went to the Western village. JOXER I did. (catching breath) I got in and talked to the Cyane. AMARICE You got in and got out again? How did you do that? JOXER It wasn't hard, really. I mean, they thought I was a spy at first and their Cyane threatened me a lot, but I wasn't nervous because she's not as good at it as our Cyane is. She doesn't have anywhere near as much of an imagination. Anyway. It takes him a moment to safely get the scroll out from under his arm without dropping Eve. She LAUGHS, unaware of the danger of being around Joxer while he is trying to do two things at once. JOXER (CONT'D) The Cyane said, since Lysandra was mostly mad at me being in the village, and at you calling her names, that it wasn't really an Amazon matter, since you and me aren't Amazons, and she said if you apologized to Lysandra, that would be enough. He offers the scroll to Xena. She looks at it but doesn't take it. AMARICE That's it? All she has to do is apologize? But Lysandra said... JOXER Yeah, I know. The Cyane said Lysandra's an idiot. Xena is still staring at the scroll. AMARICE This is great! There isn't going to be a war after all. GABRIELLE Amarice, let Cyane know what's going on, then go ask Lysandra to meet us in the Council Hall. AMARICE Right away, boss. She leaves. GABRIELLE Joxer, go take Eve into the nursery. Xena is still staring at the scroll. Gab finally approaches them and takes the scroll herself. JOXER Sure. You think you can get Lysandra to sign the peace accord, too? GABRIELLE I'm going to try. Keep out of sight until it's over, okay? JOXER Okay. He starts to move off and winces. GABRIELLE And go take care of that. JOXER (pause) You could kiss it and make it b-- GABRIELLE Joxer, don't even think about it. JOXER Right. (sighs) Come on, Evie. He walks stiffly o.s. with Eve. Xena hasn't moved. Gabrielle looks at her. GABRIELLE Xena... XENA Apologize to Lysandra? GABRIELLE It'll prevent this situation from getting even more out of hand than it has to. XENA Yes, but...apologize to Lysandra? GABRIELLE Didn't you just tell me it was partly your fault for aggravating her in the first place? XENA Yes, but...apologize to Lysandra?! Gabrielle folds her arms and stares Xena down. Xena turns away. XENA (CONT'D) I don't have to like it. GABRIELLE But you have to do it. XENA I don't have to do anything. I -- GABRIELLE Oh, yes you do. You helped stir all this nonsense up. I swear (smug Xena tone) you're getting more and more like Joxer every day. Xena whirls around at that, a dangerous look in her eye, but Gabrielle doesn't flinch. After a moment Xena collects herself. XENA That was low. GABRIELLE Yes. XENA (still miffed) And undeserved. GABRIELLE Maybe so. Considering that Joxer's the only one around here who's managed to keep his head through this whole thing. XENA Now there's a scary thought. GABRIELLE Give him a little credit, Xena. She turns away, not facing Xena any more, musing aloud. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) (almost to herself) He's changed. He's not like he used to be. She hears what she is saying and an odd expression crosses her face before she visibly shakes it away. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Anyway. We'd better get this to Lysandra before something else happens. Xena watches her thoughtfully as she walks to the door. INT. COUNCIL HALL -- LATER The Council Hall is a long, probably oversized building with double rows of benches along its walls, and a long table at the opposite end from the door. The table has a pot of INK and a QUILL on it, along with various slightly unsettling Amazon ritual objects. Gabrielle and Xena are standing beside the table, along with Cyane, Amarice, and Rhysis. Lysandra is standing in front of them, her guards flanking her, and she is reading the scroll Joxer brought from the Western village. LYSANDRA (grudgingly) Well. It appears my orders are clear, that if the conditions are met (looks pointedly at Xena) the peace accord can go through as planned. Cyane, Amarice, and Rhysis all look at Xena as well. This affects Xena not at all. Then Gabrielle adds a glare. XENA (under her breath) All right already! (to Lysandra; formal tone) Lysandra, I apologize for my disrespect earlier and I assure you it will not happen again. She offers her hand. After a moment Lysandra takes her arm in a formal warrior's handshake. LYSANDRA Apology accepted. They do not release their grips and look hard at each other for a moment. XENA Fine. LYSANDRA Fine. After another moment of gripping and glaring, they let go. Lysandra unrolls the scroll on the table and signs it, then pushes it across the table to Gabrielle, who signs it as well. GABRIELLE There. She straightens up. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Lysandra, I can't tell you how pleased I am that there is finally peace between the tribes. RHYSIS It took generations to get to this point. Everyone involved should be proud. LYSANDRA Proud? That we had a man involved in Amazon business? Xena turns away, rubbing the bridge of her nose. XENA (under breath) Oh, PLEASE don't start. GABRIELLE (deceptively pleasant) You mean the one that was responsible for the accord going through? LYSANDRA It's bad enough you're even allowing a man within the boundaries of the village, much less live in your own house, but to allow him to interfere with tribal matters... GABRIELLE Times change, Lysandra. People change. Even Amazons. LYSANDRA Not that much. You could be stripped of your title if you're not careful. XENA By who? You? LYSANDRA By the Hippolyta. I've already sent a message to her, asking her to visit and hand down a ruling on the matter. GABRIELLE I really don't feel that this is any of your business, actually... LYSANDRA Oh, no. Now that we are allies--it is my business. She rolls up the scroll and hands it to one of her attendants. LYSANDRA (CONT'D) I am quite looking forward to working with your tribe, though...once this little matter is cleared up. Everyone glares at her, except for Cyane. CYANE You know...I like the way you think. She joins Lysandra and they walk out of the Council Hall together, along with Lysandra's attendants. Amarice looks outraged, and Rhysis unsurprised. XENA Oh yeah. This was a great idea. GABRIELLE But we have peace between the tribes and nobody had to get killed, or even hurt. If you don't count Joxer's...whatever. (pause) You know, I'm beginning to think I might make a good Queen someday after all. AMARICE You are a good Queen. GABRIELLE Really? AMARICE Well...compared to the last time, yeah. Someone, probably Xena, steps on her foot. AMARICE (CONT'D) Ow. Well, it's true. You've changed. GABRIELLE (blinking) I have? AMARICE Yeah. Like you were telling Lysandra. Wasn't that what you meant, that even Amazons learn? GABRIELLE (pause) Yes. Yes, of course it was. Both Xena and Rhysis are looking at her, bemused. She grows visibly nervous. GABRIELLE (CONT'D) Yes. We...we learn from experience about things. Like...like politics. AMARICE Leadership? RHYSIS Compromise. XENA Gardening. GABRIELLE (warning) Xena... Xena holds up her hands in surrender. XENA I promised. I'll be nice. Gabrielle gives her a good approximation of the Look for another few seconds. XENA (CONT'D) (aloud, as if to herself) I wonder what the hedge would look like if I replanted it with hemlock. FADE OUT: