• Title Origins: Obviously, the recurring lyric in "Mess" is "Oh, this mess I have made" so I went with that. I used that instead of the title because I thought just "Mess" was too negative and too chaotic, where as what I did use implied the more implied mess which Xena has made of her own life.
• Episode References: The Bitter Suite
• The Subtext Issue: Why did I decide to write an alt story? Oh, several reasons, really. One is that, back in season three, I could have seen them become involved. Note that I said *become* - I don't think that, as of Bitter Suite, Gab and Xena were actively lovers. Just my take on it. But I could've seen it go there, I guess; however I really REALLY strongly disliked the cloying "wink-wink" nature of the relationship after season four and that, coupled with the attitudes of a large number of the "subtexters", pretty much turned me off of the Xena/Gab pairing entirely. Whereas previously I had been in favour of it as long as Joxer was given a place in their 'family' as well, after that I just got irritated with it. And I really think it's a shame that certain fans of the show were the ones who inspired that in me - I don't generalize that all subtext fans are that way, but the ones who were were bad enough to leave a very bad taste in my mouth. So to speak. ;) Anyway, the other reason I wrote this was because I am in love with Ben Folds' lyrics. When I got an EP with "Mess" on it I listened to it constantly and thought about how there was really a story already written in this song. It intrigued me to think of who it could be applied to, and when I made the mental connection to Xena and Gab's estrangement in "the Rift" arc in season three, it seemed utterly perfect to me. So I went from there.
• Random Info You'll Never Do Anything With: I guess I probably should mention that I don't actually think of this story as my "real" outlooks on the characters. It's more like, IF things had gone like this, and I rearranged this, and... What I basically say here is that Xena and Gab will never truly love anyone the way they love (still) each other, and although they'll try, they'll never really honestly be happy without one another. And I stand by that, in this story. But do I really think that? Not exactly, no. Not any more than I think that they were already lovers by the time of the Gabdrag (in which case, frankly, I'd be horrified if Gab had gone back to her if they were actually romantically involved). I do think that neither of them will be complete without the other in her life, and that's a theme in pretty much all of my stories.
  
• Why the Joxer-lovin'? Because really, especially at that time in season three, I really truly believed that Joxer would have been a better life partner for Gab than Xena would, between the two of them. Much of what I disliked about the Rift wasn't the emotional violence but the horrendously unhealthy ways that Xena had of dealing with her own pain, and which she then taught to Gabrielle. Forget Me Not sort of demonstrates that in a way: Gab has her issues, which she really should talk about with SOMEONE, and instead she chooses to forget them all... along with all her other memories. Erg. That whole thing makes me uncomfortable. :P
  
• Just as a point of trivia: This story was done while I was deeply into "Strangers In Paradise", a comic series by Terry Moore. Hence there are a number of lines that show up here which came from there, not the least of which is the "let someone in"..."you're there" exchange.
• And as proof that I'm a bad, bad girl? I wrote this whole story over the course of a few days at work, in between assignments. Bad Xebbie. ;)

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