The lights were turned down low, and the only sounds in the apartment were the occasional sirens from outside or voices in the hallway. Mattie sighed as she made herself comfortable on some couch cushions, then looked at her two companions. "Okay. I'm going to try something different this time, something I never really tried before... A more advanced version of what we did before. This time, instead of sending us back to relive our past lives, I'm going to try and bring our past lives to the front of our Selves. It will give us more control over what we experience, instead of being randomly sent back to another time."
     "Can you really do that?" Annie asked.
     Mattie smiled uncertainly. "We'll find out," she said. The other woman smiled at her gently, the beginnings of affection evident in her expression. "Now everyone, relax..." she began, making her voice as soothing as possible. She looked at Harry, sitting leisurely on the couch, only his eyes betraying how alert he was. "Let go of your fears, your tension." She turned back to Annie, sitting cross-legged on the floor opposite her. "Concentrate on who you were, so many lives ago. Find that part of yourself, embrace it, and bring it to the front... Okay, everyone... let's become our breaths."
     From the couch, Harry rolled his eyes. That hadn't gotten any less corny than the first time she'd said it. As Mattie started counting, his thoughts slipped and ran together, his awareness melted... His being shifted...

     She opened her eyes, adjusted to the swirling colours that surrounded her, and saw them. "Gabrielle."
     The strawberry blonde opened her eyes, and her face lit up. "Xena! It's you!" She rushed to the arms of her dear friend and they hugged tightly. "I can't believe it worked," Gabrielle said, as she looked up into Xena's face. The warrior looked in her prime, just as she always would in Gabrielle's memories. She looked down at herself, surprised to notice that she was back in her green top. Strands of her long hair tickled her shoulders as she moved her head. "Where's-"
     "Joxer," Xena said, as they both looked at the tall figure in armour standing a few paces away from them.
     He was looking down at himself, staring at his arms as if in amazement. Slowly, he put his hands to his head and felt the helmet there. His expression was confused when he looked up at the two women. "Xena... Gabby. Where are we?"
     Gabrielle let go of her hold on Xena, and approached him. "We're not on a physical plane, Joxer... It's... hard to explain." She looked to Xena for help, but the taller woman just shrugged. The bard tried again, looking hard for the words. "We're not really in a place, so much as... in between worlds."
     Joxer looked uncertain, and afraid. "We're dead, aren't we," he whispered.
     "No," Xena answered, "we've just moved beyond our existence in these bodies. We never die, because we're never truly born." She and Gabrielle shared knowing smiles.
     From Joxer's expression, that explanation went right over his head. "I don't get it. How can I be someone else, when I'm me?" He looked about nervously.
     Gabrielle's voice was soothing as she answered. "It's okay, Joxer. Calm down and think... remember. Remember why we're here, and who you've been... Do you remember the trip to the past lives therapist? The Xena Vigilante?"
     He looked at them in incomprehension for a moment, then recognition lit his eyes. "I... think I do. I remember... ending this old life... moving on. I'm..." He raised an eyebrow and looked a little put out, "I'm a woman this life, aren't I?" Gabrielle stifled a laugh.
     "What's the matter with being a woman?" Xena asked darkly, giving him the look. A smile played at the corners of her mouth as Joxer gulped.
     "N-nothing! Nothing at all! I just meant that it's, well, not what I'm used to. That's all. Hey, and you're a man this time... and we used to- uh." He blushed.
     Xena nodded. "Now you've got it."
     He looked at the two women, still blushing, and now somewhat forlorn. "And now you guys are..."
     They looked at each other, and then back at him, a little sheepishly. "It... just kind of happened," Gabrielle said apologetically. She put her hand on his shoulder, but he turned away.
     "No, it's okay. Just forget it. You guys really are made for each other this time... Maybe every time. I never..." He shook his head. "I never really did have a place, did I?"
     Gabrielle grabbed the back of his armour and pulled him back to her. "Joxer, how dumb can you be?" she said affectionately.
     A hand on his other shoulder told him Xena was on his other side. "You've always had a place with us, time after time... Life after life."
     He shook his head, denying it. "I was always getting in the way. I can't believe I couldn't tell when it was going on..."
     "No," Gabrielle said. She slid her arms about his waist and laid her head on his chest, not feeling the cold of the armour plate but just the solidness of his body. It felt as comforting and familiar as when she'd hugged Xena, so she stayed there. "We should have told you before, and more often, so you'd remember."
     Xena, taking Gabrielle's cue, put an arm around Joxer's shoulders and squeezed him affectionately. "We cared for you, Joxer. Always."
     "Xena and I always enjoyed ourselves when you were around," Gabrielle added. "I mean, there were times when our patience wasn't so great, and I guess it showed, but... Did our love ever show, too?"
     Joxer swallowed, afraid to return the embrace of either woman. "I... guess.... Sometimes. But usually... it was just kinda like, no matter what I did..." He stopped, his throat tight.
     "Then I'm glad we got this time together," Gabrielle said quietly.
     Xena nodded. "Everything Gabrielle says goes for me, as well." She hoped that was enough; expressing her emotions was not something she did gracefully, even after so many years, even to one as dear to her as Joxer. "I'm glad I know you, Joxer."
     "Aw, guys..." Joxer gave a half-chuckle and trailed off, not looking at either one. Gabrielle looked upinto his face, and after a moment she lifted his chin and kissed his lips softly. Before he could do much more than blink in response, Xena smiled and repeated the action herself.
     "You've deserved that for a while," Gabrielle said quietly. Joxer grinned, then squinted his eyes closed and threw his arms around both the women. Xena tightened her arm around him and took Gabrielle with her other one, and they all hugged each other warmly for some time.
     "You guys," Joxer said tightly, against Gabrielle's hair, "are the best friends I ever had. Ever." Gabrielle sniffled, and Xena smiled broadly. They stood together, saying no more, until the reality began to slide...

     Mattie awoke with her head on Annie's left shoulder, inhaling some of the blonde strands of hair that hung there. She shook herself and sat up, to see Harry down on the floor next to Annie. They were looking at each other intently, emotion evident on their faces. She looked down to see their hands clasped together, fingers entwined; to her surprise, she felt no jealousy, only a sense of rightness.
     Seeing the movement, Annie and Harry both turned their gaze onto Mattie, and their eyes alone spoke volumes: A remembrance and love, not just for each other but for her as well, equal in its intensity. Then Annie blinked, and it faded. "Uh... So, um, did we all see something this time?" Annie mumbled self-consciously.
     "I think you know the answer to that," Harry said quietly.
     Mattie cleared her throat and forced a laugh. "Well, how about that! It worked! Marco- I mean, Ares- never discussed bringing past lives to the front that way, but I'd seen people do it in movies, so I thought- why not try?"
     "Far out," Annie mumbled.
     We've gone too far, Harry thought. Seen too much, and felt too much, for us to be comfortable now. I can't leave Annie after this, but I can't be without Mattie. He was startled out of his thoughts as Annie pried her fingers loose from his, and stood.
     "Look, I'm gonna leave you guys to talk for a while, okay?" she said, straightening out her shirt. "You figure out what's goin' on and I'll be... uh, around, I guess."
     "Annie," Mattie said pleadingly, hurt evident in her voice.
     Harry grabbed her wrist as she walked away from him. "Sweetheart, you don't have to go. You're a part of this just as much as Mattie and me."
     "Look," Annie said firmly, "friends in each lifetime is well and good, but it's too awkward for me to stick around with you guys. You're the ones who are destined to have the great love, you're the soulmates, and even if I have a part in your lives I don't have a part in that. Not in your souls."
     Mattie broke in. "Do you understand what a soulmate really is?"
     Annie snorted. "'Course. I'm not dumb you know. It's like..." She trailed off, her expression becoming uncertain. "Well I know what it is, I just don't know how to explain it."
     "Okay. Well, basically, soulmates are those souls who continue to find each other, life after life. They are the companions, who help each other learn and grow through each new journey." Mattie gestured with her hands as she spoke, cupping them together as if to indicate a union between the souls.
     "Yeah, right. That's what I would've said," Annie said. "That's you guys." She pointed at the couple on the floor in front of her.
     "It's you, too, Annie."
     "Huh?" The blonde woman looked stunned.
     Harry turned to his partner. "Really, Mattie?"
     "Yeah. Here, both of you take my hands." Harry took hers right away, but she had to grab Annie's for herself. "Feel it? Feel the energy, the link between all three of us? It's no coincidence that we found each other."
     Annie shook her head. "You're only supposed to have one soulmate, not two, or a whole platoon of 'em."
     "You're wrong. Soulmates don't come in pairs," Mattie said. "They can, but more often they come in groups, and each one fulfills a different role each time. A close friend, a sibling, a lover- a soul can fulfill each of these roles, and more, as many times as it chooses. My and Harry's souls find each other each lifetime... and you find us as well."
     Harry looked at Mattie with an odd expression on his face. "I thought you just faked all this stuff."
     "Hey, I said I didn't think it was real, I never said I made it up."
     "That doesn't make sense," Annie decided. "If I'm one of your soulmates, how come Joxer wasn't a part of it the way Xena and Gabrielle were? How come the relationship was so different? Joxer was always on the outside... Why should it be different from that now?"
     "Because you're not Joxer." Mattie tugged on Annie's hand, pulling the woman closer to herself and Harry. "Not anymore. You were once, but you never will be again. And Harry and I aren't Xena and Gabrielle. We've grown since then... changed. You've changed. You have Joxer's loyalty and kind heart, but he never had the kind of maturity you showed earlier today when you gave up Harry. You've grown, Annie, and you'll continue to grow. Just as we all will." Mattie chuckled suddenly. "At least that's what I've been told about this. I mean, I never studied it all that much."
     Annie didn't find this particularly funny. "So you could just be saying this 'cause it's what you think, not because it's true."
     "Isn't that what's important, though?" Harry asked. "What we feel? Like Mattie said, we're not the people we used to be... they're just a part of us. And we want you around."
     "We do," Mattie agreed earnestly.
     "Y'know Harry," Annie said wryly, "you better watch it, or you're gonna start to sound as much like a hippie as she does." She gave him a cocky grin.
     He smiled in return. "Annie... When we split up this afternoon it seemed like the thing to do, but... I'm not sure now." Next to him, Mattie hung her head. Hastily, he amended, "Not that I don't want to be with Mattie- but... Geez, I guess there's no way to say this without sounding like a total chauvanistic pig."
     "You want us both?" Annie said, raising an eyebrow.
     "Uh..." Harry's face flushed. "Well, it's more like I feel so attached to you both that... um, well, yeah."
     Mattie spoke up. "I can accept that," she said thoughtfully. "The reasoning I mean. I don't know about the situation." She poked Harry in his side playfully. "But we're all linked, and the situation this time is a little, uh... ambiguous."
     Annie snorted. "You think this is bad, you guys should watch the show."
     They sat in silence for a moment before Harry said, "So... what should we do?"
     "Wait and see what happens?" Mattie suggested. "I mean, who knows... what could come of this." She looked at Annie and found the blonde twiddling her thumbs and alternating glances between Mattie and Harry.
     "Wanna know what I think?" Annie said finally. The other two glanced at each other, then nodded. "I think one of us needs to make a decision, so here's mine. I have really... strong feelings for both of you guys. Even you, Mattie." She smiled at the brunette therapist. "But, Harry, you and I both know it's just not gonna work that way for us this time. We had our good times but... You were always so darned bossy!"
     Mattie laughed, and Harry put his face in his hands to keep from saying anything.
     "Well, it's true!" Annie said stubbornly. "And... I guess I kinda deserved it sometimes, but still... I mean, we can probably just find better people for ourselves this time around. You got her, and..." Annie stood up again, this time smiling. "I think if this soulmates stuff has any kinda meaning, I'm gonna go look for Autolycus. If he looks anything like Bruce Campbell this life... Rrrrrowr!"
     Mattie stood up and walked after her. "You'll keep in touch though?"
     "Well duh," Annie said. "I do still live here after all."
     "Oh, are we staying here?" Mattie turned to Harry, who was picking himself up off the floor to join them.
     "I... hadn't really thought about it," he admitted.
     Annie shrugged. "Okay with me if you do. Just get used to him staying late nights at the 'hospital' if y'know what I mean," she said to Mattie with a grin. "Hey, when he's gone we can hang out and I'll show you some 'Xena'!"
     "Oh, uh... okay..." Mattie said with a polite laugh.
     Turning back to the door, Annie said, "I'll probably be in late tonight."
     Harry caught her arm. "Annie, I... I'm glad we worked some of this out." She smiled bashfully, and looked at the floor. "I do want you in my life, you know." Turning to look at Mattie, he added, "I want you both by my side... forever."
     They stood that way for a while, smiling and saying no more, and then Annie kissed him on the forehead and hugged Mattie before leaving. As the door shut, Harry and Mattie turned to one another, took each other's hands again, and smiled.

© 1999 by Xebbie